Twitter Me Bob
I decided to check out this new phenomina/fenominer/finomina/phenomina (or which ever way it is spelt) sweeping the world ... (Networking) so I got myself a Twitter account and sat back and waited.
After a few days I got bored and put my Pc back on, almost instantly I got a message telling me I had to click on a link to authenticate my account with Twitter, facebook, Bebo, and another one with an "off" in it.
I chose the Twitter link first and was instantly transformed into the world of Cyber chatting, it said I had 0 Tweets but someone had twitted me (insert wry smile here) So not one for being put off I set about following people to get my twits up.
2000 random people I chose before some Robot wearing red speedo's came on my screen and told me enough was enough.
Typical I thought, jealousy becomes you.
Someone called Kate Folder was on the list and she offered to show me some links, I agreed but told her I didn't want to catch any viruses.
She told me only pc's could catch them and I told her to stay away from any zoo's (this is true honest)
Anyway I found some online hypnotists who promised me the world and could I come over tomorrow and sign up for some Martadym/martindim/mayrthydom (or which ever way you spell it). I agreed totally with everyone of them and I told them I even had my own ruck sack!
There were Rabbi's with hats for sale, people selling space, which I thought was quite silly due to me having space all around me, there was Porn stars (so they said) but I never saw any on the 45,000 sites I visited, just for curiosity (investigative purposes & religious views) I must admit there was more things about fruit and inanimate objects than Porn.
Anyway I wasn't quite getting the hang of it all so I decided to move on to my next victims (I mean adventure) and go and visit Facebook! This was much better and the quality of people changed, these where my kind of people, the ones that sold dark glasses and over coats, there was Authors and illustrators here, as well as taxi drivers and zoo keepers, I got a few friends going, well I say friends but they did ask me to join Farm wars or was it Mafiaville?
Anyway they were friends to me, there was Gangly Graham the Giraffe handler he was a neck above all the rest in his methods of training, there was Sally Dwarf pants, she wore little skimpy outfits and lived in France (Someone has to live there) There was Albert Hinestein apparently he could balance pints on his butt. I even had the inventor of the tyre on my list of Friends... Julie Goodyear apparently she was once famous! But I don't remember her face being on my wheels.
I asked someone if they wanted me to follow them and they put me on their blocked list, I then got an email from Facebook telling me I had broke one of their rules and I was not allowed to stalk people, as if I would, but on that note Gerry Marsden isn't that bad looking is he?
He later emailed me and told me he wasn't interested and his boomerang didn't bend that way!! Which way did they bend then I thought?
It was at this point I thought he must be a twitter.
It was around this time, 6 months to be exact I actually recieved my authentication link to join Bebo, But it had now ceased to be, I didn't know links could expire.
Six months later I got a reminder!!
I wasn't very good at this networking thing and soon I had no one on my lists in any of the sites except 56 people who kept emailing me with invites to make lots of money and another further 45 people asking me to use their authentication services so people knew I was the real deal.
If I wasn't real how would I be on the net I thought as I signed up for all of them in every language.
It took me six months to get back online and another six days to go through all the fan mail, I told them all I didn't want any extractors as I lived in a cold climate and that was that. To top it all off I had another email from Bebo telling me that the account had been closed due to not using it but I respected their views and they were "consistant".